I take turns coaching or being coached with another new coach.
He coached me recently and made little summaries as we went through our coaching call, but didn’t summarize and tie in the last part of our conversation back to the main topic at the end.
We’re both learning, so it’s fine, but that gave me an idea for my post today.
Doing little summaries like he did and showing how a sub-conversation or story ties back to the main topic of conversation can be important tools in your communication toolbox.
By using a label like “It seems like…”, “It sounds like…”, or “It feels like…” while summarizing what you heard the other person say, you are:
- Giving them the opportunity to feel heard.
- Encouraging them to elaborate on an important point.
- Or to correct you if you didn’t hear them correctly.
Then when you get to the end of the conversation, you can tie back to the main topic of conversation to show how it all fits together.
Summarizing what your conversation partner says reminds me of a quote (paraphrased from memory):
“A good listener makes you feel heard, a great listener lets you hear yourself.”
You can become a great listener if you practice some of these listening skills consistently.
Josh