One of my clients was in a bit of trouble with his boss.

He had messed up, and needed to defuse the situation.

You’re probably going to find what we did strange.

We used a technique called an “Accusation Audit” to help him turn a bad situation into a good one.

It’s stating negatives and “elephants in the room” in a specific format without denying them. It’s what lawyers call, “taking the sting out of it”.

You can start by asking yourself:

What do I want to deny? What do I not want them to think about me?

Then phrase those objections in one of these formats:

You’re probably going to think…

You’re probably doubting…

You’re probably going to be upset.

This is probably going to sound blunt.

Etc.

Or if you have absolute certainty:

I know…

Repeat the process for the main objections you expect them to have.

Make sure to pause after you use the Accusation Audit label to let it sink in before you continue.

Accusation Audits take advantage of expectation psychology and how labels can diffuse negative emotions. They’re expecting something worse than what you actually say.

Here’s what my client and I came up with that worked with his boss (edited for privacy):

You’re probably going to think I don’t have what it takes to lead an organization this big.

You’re probably doubting how well I communicate with my teammates.

I know you are thinking I am picking the wrong battles with your boss and will lose the overall war.

You’re probably going to think I don’t have what it takes to work with your boss long-term.

If you find yourself using “but”, “I don’t want you to think”, or “not like that” language, rephrase your Accusation Audit label without it.

Here’s a one-minute YouTube Short that gives another example: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/NU2-puYgC-8 

Josh