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“Do whatever you will keep doing.”
When I was in high school, I competed in speech tournaments. In my last year I focused on the delivery of speeches rather than just the content of them. Before the second tournament that year my speech coach told me to practice my speech 5 times a day. I didn’t. I knew I wouldn’t practice…
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What is your body telling you?
I get ancy sometimes if I haven’t moved enough. That tends to make it easy for me to ramble in conversation, or lose concentration and miss something that was said. Pacing the hall or going for a walk helps me concentrate and be a better conversational partner. What might your body be trying to tell…
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Sleep is an underrated communication skill.
Getting a good night’s sleep can be the difference between successfully negotiating a deal and setting good expectations, or failing to do any of that. When we are sleep deprived, we don’t think clearly, and offen can’t find the right words. The worst part is that like drunk people don’t know when they’re drunk, sleep…
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Assume for a moment that they’re not crazy
If someone does something that seems crazy, it’s worth asking yourself: Assuming for a moment that they aren’t crazy, why would they do this? I’m in a leadership group online and came across a question and answer that went like this: Question: “How can I show them x when they’re missing something so obvious?” Answer:…
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What do you mean by that?
What do you mean by that? The “warning signs” of the big problem my client dealt with in yesterday’s post were there, he just didn’t see them. A team member was acting like everything was under control, but almost as an aside they mentioned they were overwhelmed. He later found out that they were very…
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Accusation Audits: Diffusing Objections Before They Start
One of my clients was in a bit of trouble with his boss. He had messed up, and needed to defuse the situation. You’re probably going to find what we did strange. We used a technique called an “Accusation Audit” to help him turn a bad situation into a good one. It’s stating negatives and…
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Slow is Smooth, Smooth is Fast
“in the early years of the twentieth century, the most sought-after goal in the world was to reach the South Pole. It had never been done before in all of recorded human history…In November 1911 two “rivals for the pole” aimed to be the first to achieve this elusive goal: Captain Robert Falcon Scott from…
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“I don’t know, you might want to talk to Matthew.”
“I don’t know, you might want to talk to Matthew.” I had asked one of the best speakers I know to give me feedback on my speech, but he didn’t really know what to tell me. He recommended I talk to Matthew because he thought we both had lower energy speaking styles. Matthew told me…
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“You don’t understand.”
“You don’t understand.” Even if you do. Have you ever tried to tell someone you understand what they’re saying, but it doesn’t seem like they believe you? Maybe they keep repeating themselves, or have a look on their face that says, “you’re not getting it”. Try this. “Strongman” their argument. The goal is to state…
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“You hate Sabaya, don’t you?”
“You hate Sabaya, don’t you?” “I tell you I do!” This is a scene from Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss. He’s negotiating with a native negotiator who hates the terrorist he’s negotiating with. Voss was trying to get him to empathize with what the terrorist was thinking and the native negotiator wasn’t having…