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Explaining Labels: Labels and Emotions
Labels are primarily about emotion. You are amplifying a positive emotion or diffusing a negative one. “Once people get upset at each other, rational thinking goes out the window.”. If you can identify and label emotions, you can influence them. Enhancing positive emotions: It sounds like you love to do that. It seems like you…
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Health Break
Hello all, You may have noticed I missed a couple days of this list. I was ignoring my health and my body reminded me that’s not a good idea. I don’t think it’s anything too serious, but I need to pause the email list and slow down this week. I intend to resume our regular…
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The Label Game
This label game is designed to help you get used to using labels and mirrors. I got the idea from a workshop Chris Voss did and adapted it a bit. Please let me know if there’s anything that doesn’t make sense. Definitions A basic label is a single sentence observation, question, or statement that is…
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Reader Feedback: Re: Brainstorming Labels
It seems like I didn’t explain yesterday’s “Brainstorming Labels” concept very well. I got this feedback today: “I am a little lost/feeling some friction because I don’t have a full grasp of labels yet, and I don’t know what scenario I’m brainstorming labels in. Is it in a conversation with a client? Are there some…
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Brainstorming Labels
Today’s lesson is a 60 second exercise. Sometimes the hard part about labels is thinking of how to phrase them. Say or write down as many labels as you can in 60 seconds. Think of it like playing Jeopardy, you’re phrasing your sentences a certain way. “It seems like…”, “It sounds like…, “It feels like….”,…
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Story: Using Mirrors to Build Deep Empathy
Mirrors are another tool to build trust quickly. They take advantage of the fact that people like (and trust) people like them. This is the story of how a mirror triggered a client to tell a personal story (shared by permission). We’re doing audio today because we’re talking about vocal tones. If you prefer to…
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Common Mistakes with Labels
I annoyed a family member by talking too much about personal finance and offering unsolicited advice to them. They had their guard up and didn’t want to talk about it. When I learned about Never Split the Difference, I used a label that went something like: “It sounds like you don’t think there’s anything you…
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Building Trust with Labels
Earlier this week I promised to cover labels as a tactic you can use in Why Conversations. Labels are a communication strategy that defuses negatives and reinforces positives. They make the client feel heard and understood. A label is a single-sentence observation, question, or statement phrased similar to “it sounds like…”, “it seems like…”, “it feels like…”, or “it…
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Are you Self-Oriented or Client-Oriented?
A client told me a story of a guy he liked, who had helped him in his career, but was self-oriented. He looked out for his own interests first. He could never quite trust this man and always had to have his nonsense detector alert for trouble when dealing with him. You don’t want people…
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The Gap
Everyone has a gap. A gap between where you are and where you want to be. A good Why Conversation tactfully reveals and emphasizes that gap. “It sounds like…” “It sounds like you feel like you’re working too much while barely breaking even.” “It sounds like the idea of being in the same place with…