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Co-Creation
I was talking to a client yesterday about this agreements concept and he told me about an agreement he wanted someone to accept. I then told him a true agreement is not just one side making an agreement, but both sides working together to co-create one. I referenced the story about an executive and a…
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Handling Group Commitments
I was in a coaching program where the first small group meeting started with each of us saying whether we agreed to some specific agreements for the program. It took about two minutes, and made a big difference for me. Our agreement was implied by signing up, but there was something special about verbally committing…
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Agreement Example
When I shared the agreements concept with a client, it wasn’t obvious how to put it into practice. Because of that, I wanted to share an example with you from a business mastermind where we co-authored this agreement (edited for clarity): We agree to commit to this for six months, then we can re-evaluate. There…
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Agreements Pt. 2
The agreements I spoke of can be simply verbal agreements, or a few bullet points. It’s not meant to be a legal document, but simply two people truly commiting to an idea or course of action. Josh
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Silence
Silence gives the other person time to think and absorb the information you’ve told them. This is especially true after a label, “It seems like…”, “it sounds like…”, or “it feels like…” I remember the power of silence with an intervention for a friend who was working 120 hours a week. I said something and…
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Focus on Who’s Next
Focus on who’s next. Not the distant future. Not the bills you have to pay. Not what you have to do later today. Just focus on who’s next. Think about what you might say in your next conversation to help the other person become better than they are. Prepare yourself and your mind to listen. …
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Expectation v. Agreement
In learning how to coach, I came across an audio by Steve Chandler on Expectation v. Agreement. He argues that expectation is disastrous and agreements are powerful. He tells a story of an executive whose product manager isn’t getting things done on time. Steve Chandler asks the executive, “What agreement do you have with him?”…
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The “Day After Perfect”
After not sending my daily email for the first time l yesterday, it seemed like a good time to talk about how to deal with imperfections. I’ve found that it’s often more important to keep going than to catch up. When we get behind it can ironically be easy to get further and further behind…
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What I like about that idea is…
If someone says something you don’t like, but you still want to help them (or need to collaborate with them), try this: What I like about that idea is… And ___ Fill the blank with another idea that’s triggered by what you liked about their idea. Don’t lie, but fill out “What I like about…
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“Is it what the teacher teaches or what the student learns?”
In one of my favorite book series’ there is a difficult teacher who gives the main character (Jacen) a hard time. When Jacen gets upset and lashes out verbally, she responds with “Is it what the teacher teaches or what the student learns?” (emphasis mine). When you’re studying communication, you can learn from good teachers…